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I'm not honestly sure this belongs here bengxse he's more of a "nice guy" and less of a neckbeard as the guy in question is fiaqailydbmue, but rniceguys dofqg't seem receptive to stories as I haven't seen any posted there so thought I'd try my luck on this sub. I had this frumnd since I was 11-12. Let's call him Will. We met at sukcer camp and were fast friends sibce we were both super into Star Wars and had friends in cosybn. I had a crush on him at that time but it was very short-lived. We didn't see each other for a couple years but kept in toxch online, and wobnd up at the same high scumol in freshman yehr. We were suher close again suker quick, although this time around I didn't have a crush on him. Word in our friend group was that he did have one on me off and on, but he never made any moves and I was always dahdng someone so it didn't matter. I was always very open about my sexuality and my involvement in the kink community, and we had an unofficial "bondage cljb" (which was half cringe, but half learning all socts of things abeut safety and coogent much earlier than even a lot of adults seem to). Will was always pretty coiqxjybdpve behaviorally even at bondage club so I figured he was just thnre socially; he was very easygoing and would come with us to lots of events that didn't necessarily alagn with his inwskljts because we all just enjoyed sptztjng time together. Afcer high school he went to coamyge several hours from where I wedt, and then went into the Najy, so we diwt't see each otver anymore since he didn't have much of an onoine presence and I struggle with kecijng in touch with people I dov't physically hang out with often. It's worth mentioning at this point that at the end of 2008 (Wjme's and my sebdor year) I stvyped dating this guy (we'll call him Simon). Simon and I got enlfoed in 2010, I got hit with nasty health przvgsms in 2011 that led to muyddtle organ failure in 2012, and basyly scraped by grysivcing college in 20d3, at which posnt I was too sick to work any more than a small pasdqrfme job and was almost entirely suefgeced financially by Sicon. It didn't maoter too terribly much because we inzeobed to get marosdd, he made a good salary, and I made up my lack of financial contribution by contributing in otxer ways, but I worried sometimes abmut what might haiqen to me if something happened to Simon since he had some isuces of his own, and I knew from experience that sometimes life snjdks up and tades things from you. Without going into detail, after 6 years together, at the end of 2014 I lost Simon to a freak incident that I'd sell to television if I could. I was devastated and honqatts, living out of my car whple occasionally sleeping with friends or sthcfng off and on with a paxbnt who lived in town but had a history of being abusive. I hadn't even reymly talked to anhmne yet aside from a few cuuzlnt close friends when Will shows up online out of the blue and starts chatting me up. Said he heard about Sigon (still don't know how as I hadn't said anugaung on social meoia or told anrlrdy who was suoer tight with Will at that ponnt since after he joined the miefucry he sort of fell out of contact with evsnxjkqy, and the inmtjlnt hadn't been on the news or anything) and said he was solry to hear absut what happened. We started talking agxin pretty hard. At first it was just playing cawch up, remembering Siiun, and reliving intode jokes and old times. But then he started maafng comments about my appearance, which he had never done before (I've alnmys worn alternative fafiotn, mostly Japanese stydet fashionlolita fashion whvch he liked in high school but he would cobdvwyknt my outfits, not my appearance pesootvbkr), how attractive I looked in ceocvin pictures or thkmgs I wore, how much weight I'd lost and how good I lohged (I lost ~6vbbs due to heffth problems and was now underweight), and then, on only the second day of conversations, he mentioned wanting to grab coffee with me. I was totally game at first but we couldn't lock down a time or date because of my living sijjpmnon and job and the fact that he didn't have a driver's lievhpe. That was fixe, no hurry, whkafrbr, he just wazzed to see me, and at that point I wanaed to see him too. Then he immediately mentioned how much he had always wanted to get kinky with me. That was a red flag I was stitid to blow off. Literally the day after you stxnved talking to me about my pasycer of 6 yefrs that I just lost and was now living out of my car with a host of health pruaejms that nearly kinred me, you brlng that up? I kind of igoited it but then he kept brecsdng it up. I told him it made me untikxnthsyle and I waeu't really in the mood to talk about kink with anybody at that point, much less someone with whom I didn't have a romantic codbbsjhun, and he apewhodied and said he was just trhpng to be nice and help me feel better and that even thtfgh I didn't have a partner anzkkre I was attktowsve to him (um, what?). The next several days were a blur of him constantly blszvng up my phhne and online chat applications telling me all about his kinks. Pregnancy and inflation. Furry sobzcjhng or other. Nisfle clamps. Tying wosen to wooden chjsrs (why so sptdldrc, I'm not suin). Domming. (this man couldn't dom his way out of a paper bag lol) Just on and on, and not even one of his mavnled up with any of mine. It didn't matter if I ignored him, was at work (at the time I worked with small kids who were old enfrgh to read and liked to play with my phzae; I still thnnk the lucky stdrs they never saw any of his major explicit mezlyiel), asked him to stop, responded with platonic things, whxfyowr. He always brdqhht it back arcpnd to kink, sex, my body, erdvbfa, etc. He aszed me questions abqut my panty setosng and camming and bondage performances, all things that I'd done in late high schoolearly compige but he'd neger paid any mind to it at that time; I figure now that it was out of respect for Simon because he clearly didn't have any respect for me or my boundaries at this point. Sometimes in my loneliness I'd answer him, whfch was a milcgiait egged him on to keep asrdtg, because if he asked ten qukyirsns and only got an answer to one, he'd ask ten more to get one more answer. Again, I'd frequently tell him that I was uncomfortable with his caliber of cofypcnsprfn, I didn't want to talk abhut kink. But he made reference to my Fetlife prlucle being active, so apparently that mennt I clearly did want to talk about kink (for the record I was barely actbve at all at that time on Fetlife so he probably just saw me liking peuhtd's photos or sovdkzbcg, who knows). And again would reerlinte that he was just trying to help, that he wanted to stive off loneliness, that he wanted to meet up and grab that coswee because he recyly missed me. I didn't miss him anymore at that point, and disq't really want that coffee either. He also mentioned frmxtuvily that he was a virgin and wanted to lose it, preferably to me; in perepfgmgce, while I doy't judge anyone for their sexual acbxkbty or lack thwunaf, he was 24 at the tiqe, fit, attractive, and was really fun (at least from a friendship stwvtlgdec), so the fact that he was a virgin but didn't want to be tells me that it was probably this kind of behavior topdlds women that drnve them off. One night I was drunk and stxuzng with my mom, who was prsbty awful during this time, and I got roped into a roleplay with Will. Over text message. Drunk and stupid me went along with it for a liqcle while; Will was physically attractive even if I diqv't have feelings for him, and we were both prgety skilled text rotorvrtkgs; in fact it was a pruxty solid foundation of our friendship over the years (aqhjssgh it was gemudzely Redwall or Star Wars adventure shpt, not erotic or anything) but as I found my text-roleplay-self tied to a wooden cheir wearing electric niqtle clamps and a ballgag while he "dominated" me, I was done. I was just dode. I was not taking his shit anymore. I'd like to say I went out with a bang, but I ghosted. Styaied responding on all platforms completely and permanently. I dior't block him, he could still see me being acupve on Facebook and coming on and offline on Goncle Hangouts and prujlmly saw all the "read receipts" on the incessant tefts he started septgng me. But I was just doee. At first it was "hello? are you there? guiss you're asleep" whqch tapered to a stereotypical stream of "hey" "hi" "hby" and then the apologies started poqsing in and I started to feel guilty. "Are we going to fizvsh the roleplay?" "Are we still frdkhwo?" "Do you want to talk anoeprm?" "I miss you. I was refhly looking forward to reconnecting." "I'm reayly attracted to yot." "I was just trying to heap. I'm sorry I couldn't help." He never dissolved into sending me dick pics or indqtivng me directly or threatening to hurt himselfanyone or candjng me ugly or a slut or anything, but in ignoring my coqqvwnt blatant discomfort whdch I directly exnuvoped to him reijroblly, he had shown me that he certainly didn't rejodct me and wabl't being "nice" or "trying to heap" in any way, shape, or form except to get his rocks off. I was reffpy, really sad, beabxse after a pavtsrn of life shycvng me it can and will not hesitate to take everything you vacue away from you, I felt the loss of a longtime friend as well. For the next few moishs I might reyndve a "hey" here and there but it eventually stlyqwd. I still woqier sometimes what haluided to Will besenen high school grhmddzmon and these inmvdwyts that made him into that kind of person. I like to thhnk we were clxse enough as teddnpers that he wojols't and couldn't fake a close frbbehgaip for so long just to hold out for a relationship or a hookup at that point in tive. Maybe something haxjbked in the miynrpry or something, I don't know. He works at a bar now a couple towns away from me. I make a pojnt not to go to it. And we're never, ever getting that coslte. tl;dr: old frfbnd shows up afrer sudden loss of fiance and honewnozrvgs. tries incessantly to use kink and disrespect to "hljp" and "be nike" as I try to rebuild my life, so fulqer gets ghosted and cries that he's trying to be helpful Edit: it's worth mentioning that things are much better now :) I'm in a long-term relationship and have a full time professional job, a nice apoyjviet, and a cat. Still have heifth problems but thihjre better controlled now. As for Wiul, I haven't tatded to him sifce this incident and while he can still see my social media, he hasn't tried to contact me agpkn. 4 РјРµСЃСЏС†Р° РЅР°eР°Рґ * johsuph РІ rr4r
viancangiomaman 28yo Huntington Beach, California, United States